Monday, December 31, 2007

Friday, December 28, 2007

Spam Of The Week

This one comes from Natasha Frank:

My name is Mr,s Natasha Frank of Tanzania, I am married to
(EngMr.Pius frank) from united kingdom(u.k) who has
an appointment in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso as the chief managing
director to(Abbas Gold Mining Association Burkina-Faso West Africa)
under Engineering project/contract awarding

My husband died as a result of plan crash in Burkina-Faso ,
while he was coming back from Accra Ghana
on project inspection on Saturday 10 th December 2005.

Before his death as a result of our joint account
venture we have $7.3 million (us)dollars in our fixed
deposit account.

Due to my bareness I don’t have a child and am
of age, I am 68 years now and my doctor told me that
based on my kidney and liver failure disease. I can
not stay to live up three mount ahead, and I am having
serious problem with my husband’s family

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am
going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of
the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will
my course and I shall hold my peace.

Therefore I need a God fearing person who will assure
me that he/she will use this fund to help the
Motherless baby homes, Orphanage and Charity
organization, Less privileged
Propagating the word of God.

I took this decision because I don't have any child
that will inherit this money. As soon as I receive
your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank.

I want you to always pray for me because I don’t
have more days to live.

Thanks Natasha. Get well soon. We salute you.

The Hek

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Howard And Desmond

From Wiretap, one of my favourite radio shows.

Poor Jonathan Goldstein. One day he's going to snap and kill Howard.

The Hek

Monday, December 24, 2007

Make Believe Social Life Redux

Episode 63 of the Audio Circus has been re-released! Hopefully it works this time.

*crosses fingers*

To download, subscribe, or for more information, visit the show's website.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

The Hek

Friday, December 21, 2007

Spam Of The Week

This week's spam comes from JC Martins:

I am MR JC MARTINS the bill and exchange manager in charge of auditing and accounting unit foreign remittance department of African development bank(ADB)ouaga-burkina faso in west Africa.
With due respect and regards I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.

During our investigation and auditing in the bank, my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased customer, a foreigner who died in a plane crash with his family during their vacation journey and the fund has been dormant in his account with the bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before my discovery to this development,Although personally, I kept this information secrete within myself and to enable the whole plans and idea be profitable and successful during the time of execution.

The amount involved is $ 5 million U.S.A dollars ( Five Million U.S.A Dollars) Meanwhile, all the necessary arrangement and directives needed to put claim over this fund as the next of kin to the deceased is ready, Upon your acceptance all the information will be forward to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity.

In fact, I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant,we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank, this is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin with affidavit of trust of Oath to the bank and also present a foreign account to the bank where you will need the said fund to be transferred into, after due verification and clarification to designated bank account.

We agree that 30 % of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60 % would be for me. There after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted .

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email, the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

Please you have been adviced to keep top secret as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after I conclude this deal with you, I will be monitoring the whole situation here in the bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask me to come down there for subsequent shearing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment,either in your country or any other country you may advice me to invest in.

All other necessary information will be sent to you when I hear from you, I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible, stating your wish in this deal.

Waiting for your soonest response.
Yours faithfully,

Bill and Exchange Manager,
African Develoment Bank(ADB)

Thanks JC. We salute you.

The Hek

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dark Knight Trailer

Wow! Wow! Wow!

A psychotic Joker. You gotta love it.

I am putting this film at the top of my 2008 "Must See" list.

The Hek

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Don Chevrier: 1938 - 2007

Canadian sportscaster Don Chevrier has passed away.

For many, including myself, Chevrier will be remembered as the original television voice of the Blue Jays. Like his radio counterpart, Tom Cheek, Chevrier provided solid play-by-play for over two decades. He was the man in the television booth during Toronto's "glory days."

As a young fan, I always viewed Chevrier as a wise and articulate elder. He seemed to know every single detail about any baseball player, regardless of whether the player wore a Blue Jay uniform, or an opponent's uniform. His voice was authoritative but not commanding.

He was a versatile broadcaster, covering a number of sports. Along with the Blue Jays, Chevrier was the play-by-play voice for the Ottawa Senators, a number of Grey Cup finals, and many Olympic events. In fact, the last time I had the pleasure of watching and listening to him was during the 2006 Winter Olympics when he covered the men's and women's curling tournament for NBC.

A fixture of the Canadian sporting scene, he described many great moments. He will be sorely missed.

RIP Don Chevrier.

The Hek

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

50 Ways To Leave Your Liver

My friend recently scored some DVDs of The Muppet Show.

Sure enough, we all gathered at his house and watched some classic episodes.

As a child, I was too young to appreciate the show's humour and it's homage to vaudeville. Many years later, I get a second chance. What's unique about this show was that the characters were geared towards children; while the comedy was geared towards adults.

Here's a perfect example:

The Hek

*It's time to start the music: Episode 64 of the Audio Circus*

Monday, December 17, 2007

Musical Brother

Episode 64 of the Audio Circus has been released!

This week, my exclusive, one-on-one interview with BOB DYLAN's brother Jeb.

To download, subscribe, or for more information, visit the show's website.

The Hek

PS: If you have trouble downloading the episode, let me know. Thanks!

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Mitchell Report

I really don't want to write about "Baseball's Steroids Era."

The Mitchell Report has been released and is available on most news sites. If you want to read it, go right ahead. Everything that needed to be said was said. It sickens me to see all the talented ball players that were named in this report. Many careers will be tarnished because of it.

I prefer to write about positive baseball stories. For example, the Blue Jays have signed David Eckstein. That is a huge boost for the Jays. Eckstein is a great leadoff hitter and has a solid on-base percentage. The leadoff spot was a nasty hole for Toronto this past season. Reed Johnson missed a few months due to back surgery and still wasn't 100% for the remainder of the season. Vernon Wells also led off, but despite his poor 2007 campaign, he should be in the number three spot. Eckstein will not tear the cover off the ball, but he will get on base. Don't forget, he was the 2006 World Series MVP.

Meanwhile, in regards to the Mitchell Report, I will say this: I am not surprised about Roger Clemens. At age 40, the man's fastball had better velocity then it did at age 20. That is genetically impossible.

For the record, here are the current and former Blue Jays that were named in the report. Based on his investigation, George Mitchell has stated that these players took and/or received performance-enhancing drugs.

- Troy Glaus
- Greg Zaun
- Roger Clemens
- Benito Santiago
- David Segui
- Glenallen Hill
Howie Clark
Scott Schoeneweis

The Hek

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Chuck Norris Approved

Barack Obama has Oprah Winfrey's support.

However, former Arkansas Governor and Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has a supporter who is more powerful then 1000 Oprahs: CHUCK NORRIS

The Hek

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I Can't Believe It's Me Either

There are a lot of contenders worthy of the U.S. Presidential Office.

But there is one man, who I think would make an excellent President?


Case in point:

The Hek

*Very refreshing: Episode 63 of the Audio Circus*

Monday, December 10, 2007

Make Believe Social Life

Episode 63 of the Audio Circus is now available!

This week, I show off some of my impressions. There's also a short story I wrote called "A Quiet Friday Night."

To download, subscribe, or for more information, visit the show's website.

The Hek

Friday, December 07, 2007

Spam Of The Week

This one comes from Daf Fadel:

Attn: CEO
I am interested in the partnership investment program with your corporation. First permit me to introduce myself as Daf Fadel ministre de la construction of Western Sahara state in the democratic republic (a tiny island desert). Being the executive minister of my State.
I awarded the contract of IRRIGATION to Portuguese Firm worthy several millions of dollars. In the execution of that project the Portuguese Firm discovered large amount of gold in one of the contract site.
I collaborated with the Portuguese Firm on a mutual agreement on the proceed of which I have received my share of 15.5musd.
As the minister, I cannot introduce or circulate these funds into the Western Sahara banking system considering my provisional duty and the considering the fact that I earn less than 1,000us$dollars monthly coupled with the Bureau of conduct guide lines and
regulations for Public Civil Servants.
The above situation prompted my decision to solicit your co-operation to take delivery of this fund into your custody for my proposed investment, as you will be adequately compensated with $ 6.500,000 millions.
I will arrange all necessary procedures in ensuring a smooth process for the funds to get to you. I will appreciate you contact me once you receive this fax via my satellite phone above indicating your capability and willingness to enable me to give you more details of my modus operandi of getting this money to you hitch free.
This matter requires your urgent attention and confidentiality whatever your decision.
Best Regards,
Minister, Daf Fadel

Thanks Daf. We salute you.

The Hek

Thursday, December 06, 2007

I Got 99 Problems, But A Playlist Ain't One

The Hek's Super Playlist continues to grow! New entries are in red.

1. Kennedy Killed the Hat - Buck 65
2. I bought some books - Black Boot Trio
3. Watching the Wheels - John Lennon
4. Vacation - The Go-Go's
5. Like a Prayer - Madonna
6. Night Swimming - REM
7. Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
8. Ring, Ring - Abba
9. Call on Me - Eric Prydz
10. November Rain - Guns N Roses
11. Cruel Summer - Bannanarama
12. Hung up - Madonna
13. 463 - Buck 65
14. Judy is a Punk - The Ramones
15. The Laws have Changed - The New Pornographers
16. Portland, Oregon - Loretta Lynn feat. Jack White
17. Suzanne - Leonard Cohen
18. The Card Cheat - The Clash
19. Canadian Railroad Trilogy - Gordon Lightfoot
20. Boys in the Bright White Sports Car - Trooper
21. Mandy - Barry Manilow
22. Let's Get Together - Al Green
23. Mickey - Toni Basil
24. Bodies - Drowning Pool
25. Folson Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
26. Bawitaba - Kid Rock
27. Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
28. City of New Orleans - Arlo Guthrie
29. Pump it - Black Eye Peas
30. Lonely Old Eyes - Neko Case
31. Immigrant Song - Led Zepplin
32. Philadelphia Freedom - Elton John
33. Don't Walk Away Eileen - Sam Roberts
34. Bring the Noise - Public Enemy & Anthrax
35. Maneater - Nelly Furtado
36. Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves - Cher
37. My Immortal - Evanescense
38. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
39. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns and Roses
40. Bad Habit - The Offspring
41. LDN - Lily Allen
42. Man I use to Be - K-OS
43. Lolipop - Aqua
44. Banquet - Bloc Party
45. The Sign - Ace of Base
46. Rise Above - Black Flag
47. Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
48. Thank God I'm a Country Boy - John Denver
49. Hello - Lionel Richie
50. River - Joni Mitchell
51. Romantic Rights - Death From Above 1979
52. Knock on Wood - Amy Stewart
53. My Heart Skips A Beat - Buck Owens
54. Levon - Elton John
55. Use It - The New Pornographers
56. The Boy In The Bubble - Paul Simon
57. Graceland - Paul Simon
58. Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac
59. Head Over Feet - Alanis Morrisette
60. Ring Of Fire - Johnny Cash
61. Inside And Out - Feist
62. Crosseyed And Painless - Talking Heads
63. Give It To Me - Timberland feat. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake
64. Intervention - Arcade Fire
65. I'm Afraid Of Brittany Spears - LiveonRelease
66. For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica
67. Sundown - Gordon Lightfoot
68. Hard To Concentrate - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
69. Sabotage - Beastie Boys
70. Diamonds From Sierra Leone - Kanye West
71. One Thing - Finger Eleven
72. Changes - 2pac
73. Gone Away - The Offspring
74. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk
75. 1234 - Feist
76. Relax, Take It Easy - Mika
77. God Save The Queen - The Sex Pistols
78. The Message - Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
79. Miami - Will Smith
80. Rebel Rebel - David Bowie
81. TV Party - Black Flag
82. Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead - Crash Test Dummies
83. 99 Problems - Jay Z
84. Sorrow - Bad Religion
85. Body Count - Body Count
86. What's the Frequency, Kenneth - REM
87. What Do I Get - The Buzzcocks

The Hek

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Save The Parkdale Foodbank

From Justin Beach and

While the mechanism still isn't in place for auto-withdrawals or online donations I've set up a facebook group called $5 For the Parkdale Food Bank. The purpose of the group is to gather people who would be willing to make a $5/month donation (via bank account or credit card) to the food bank.

$5 may not seem like much but 500 people donating $5 a month would put the food bank close to it's annual operating budget of $33,000. The goal is to find 1,000 people and significantly increase the food banks budget.

Benjamin Mueller-Heaslip of the Parkdale Revolutionary Orchestra is also trying to organize some last minute fundraisers. More details on that will be posted as they become available.

The Parkdale Food Bank currently feeds 600 families and will close in January without help. Please contribute in any way you can.

If you'd like to simply mail a cheque you can send it to ST. FRANCIS TABLE, 1322 Queen Street West, Toronto Ontario, M6K 1L4

If you're willing to make monthly donations join the Facebook Group and we'll let you know when the mechanisms are in place.

If you'd like to participate in a fundraiser please contact Benjamin Mueller-Heaslip at


Benjamin Meuller-Heaslip of the Parkdale Revolutionary Orchestra is organizing a fundraiser for the Parkdale Food Bank. Here are the details so far.

Time and Place

Date: Sunday, December 16, 2007
Time: 3:00pm - 9:00pm
The Cadillac Lounge
1296 Queen Street West
Toronto, ON

Five-hour Music Marathon in support of the Parkdale Food Bank!

10 half-hour sets including:

The Parkdale Revolutionary Orchestra
Ronley Teper
Michael Holt
Book of Gnomes
The Ugly Bug Band

More in the works

The Hek

*TAC: Episode 62*

Monday, December 03, 2007

No Armour In Parliament

Episode 62 of the Audio Circus is now available.

This week: Ridiculous British laws and music by Infotourist.

To download, subscribe, or for more information, visit the show's website.

The Hek