Friday, December 30, 2005

Where did the Blue Meanie go? Overhaul? Leaving things behind? I smell a Hek-vestigation :-)

The Hek

Monday, December 19, 2005

Huzzah! The one and only exam is completed.

Huzzah! More RAM installed. Compy works well. Runs like Greyhound. No longer like snail.

But, my MSN messenger still does not work. The error code I keep getting is 80048820. I called MSN tech support and they told me there's nothing they can do because Messenger is a program that you get off the internet. Nuts to them. Anybody had that code before?

I'm gonzo with an O and a Z

The Hek

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Maybe its the studying...

I feel like I'm in a French New Wave film. I am an isolated character who goes through some extreme circumstances. Then everything goes back to normal and I'm still isolated. And in the end, I accept my isolation.

The Hek

Friday, December 16, 2005

It happened again...

I got involved with something and I said to myself "Be careful, don't get to involved. Don't allow your emotions to take part. It will hurt you in the end."

So I tried it and it seemed to go well, and I started thinking "Maybe this is legit. Maybe this is real. Maybe happy endings do exist."

But in the end, it ends the way it always does; with a whimper. It hurts everytime. You try to make something special and no matter what I do, it always fails. I've always tried be rational from beginning to end. But rational turns into emotional every fucking time. Barnum was right, a sucker is born every minute.

Sometimes you form grudges and other times, friendships. The ladder occurred this time and I will always take solace in that.

This is real life, people. This is reality. So, you become Fred Astaire. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. Then, you look at the world and yell:


The Hek

Thursday, December 15, 2005

From 5:30am - 9:00pm, The Hek was on the go.

First I did the show and it went quite well. Then I went over to Noel's place to help him and his wife move into their brand new apartment. Myself, Abigail, Blake, Noel and Leslie spent nine hours moving tons and tons of stuff. It was actually a lot of fun because I was doing something that had nothing to do with school. I was doing something that had to do with real life. It was reality and I loved it.

I realized that its an exciting world out there with opportunity.......and The Hek is stuck and forced to finish his education. School holds me down. Thornhill holds me down. Parents hold me down. Psychotic drama holds me down.

I can't move back to Thornhill when I graduate. During the recent summer, I made this decision. This is me having fully taken control of my life.

I realize its a pipe dream. But I want to dream. And I want the dream to become reality.

Alright, I know that some of this doesn't make any sense. However, there is a lot of stuff going through my head. This is my way venting. This is my way of getting rid of the stuff in my head. I feel a whole lot better now.

Yikes, this is like something Roddy Piper typed up.

The Hek

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Be sure to catch the next THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. The Hek is filling in for the hour two host which means:

2.5 HOUR SHOW!!!!!!

In the first hour, I will be speaking with Keith Fountain, Conservative candidate for the riding of Ottawa-Centre. Then in the next hour, I will be speaking with David Chernushenko; deputy leader of the Green Party and also running in the Ottawa-Centre riding.

I will also have the sports recap, Volunteer Ottawa, poem of the day, the entertainment and Byetowne listings, Arts and Community Listings and Ottawa Metro News.

Tune in: Thursday, 7:00 - 9:30 am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, December 12, 2005

The are many great things about having time off before your first and only exam. Today for example, I cleaned my room and watched some television. Unfortunately, I was unable to stomach an episode of Growing Pains. JFL: Gags was quite brilliant. Speaking of brilliant, The Hek highly recommends people watch Kenny vs. Spenny. There's a hilarious show.

the temperature drops
and the world begins to freeze
for now there is




all except one low heart beat

The Hek

Sunday, December 11, 2005

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just isn't the same.

Can you tell which thing is not like the other?

Now it's time to play our game.....

The Wrigley company - makers of Exrta, Excel, and Juicy Fruit gum - did a promotional campaign at Carleton last week. One of the things they were handing out were bookmarks that offered study and test-taking tips.

Here are four such tips. Can you guess which tip is not legitimate?

1. Take notes as you read to help process information.
2. Study during the time of day you work most efficiently.

3. Chew gum to improve focus and concentration
4. Study when its quiet and well-lit.

Vote now!

The Hek

Saturday, December 10, 2005



My experiences using web messenger has taught me that I do not have enough RAM on my compy. Believe or not, The Hek only has 96 MBs of RAM. 70 of those MBs are used to run Windows XP. With the internet and web messenger running all memory is used up, making my compy extremely slow and non-efficient. When this happens, web messenger just signs me out. So, I could be talking to someone like Abigail, Noel or Mr. Wood and then get suddenly caught off. To make things worse, people will msn me and I will only get the message five minutes after it was sent.

Therefore, until I upgrade my memory. The Hek will be off MSN for awhile. I don't know how long this will take. I am hoping only for a couple of days. I might use MSN if I'm in a Carleton computer lab. In any case, if you need to get a hold of me. Send me a comment, e-mail or phone me up.

The Hek

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Election coverage on the next THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND!!!!

Tomorrow, I will be airing my interview with Richard Mahoney.

Richard is the Liberal candidate for the riding of Ottawa - Centre. We talk about student debt and how to get students out to vote.

Tune in: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

scholar enters the room
seeking true writings
obtains chicken scratch

THURS. BLEND = 7-8am EST = CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, December 05, 2005

HOLY CRAP!!! I'm watching this Global TV special on voter apathy and The Blue Meanie is in the audience!................Wait a second..........The Blue Meanie looks female..........and familiar.

I have had just too much work.

For those who are wondering, the MSN has not been properly working. I've been forced to use web messenger which has its advantages as well as its disadvantages. As soon as the workload eases up, I'm going to call the CCS network and ask for assistance.

Meanwhile, guess what I did on Saturday night? I went to research at the library. For some reason I do this once during the school year:

2002-03: Essay on Dieppe
2003-04: Essay on John Milton
2004-05: Essay on Harley Davidson advertising
2005-06: Essay on Martin Scorsese

I hate the library. It feels like a jail. I always tell people that I am making a conjugal visit whenever I need to get a book or information.

Finally, I'm adding another song to The Hek's SUPER PLAYIST: Madonna - Like a Prayer

End of transmission.

The Hek

Friday, December 02, 2005

We start off with the quote of the week. This one comes from a member of the Singing Grannies who was protesting the war on Iraq: "George Sr. should have pulled out sooner."

Lots of things have happened over the last few days. First off, The Hek is currently on 3.5 hours of sleep. I had to pull a late night in order to write a 12 page paper that was due today. 12 pages = 12 hours. Not fun at all. I'd like to say I'm finished, but I can't. Next week, I have two essays and a take home exam.

On Wednesday, The Hek and a person of interest, watched a really neat lecture about a Jewish filmmaker who made the Betty Boop, Popeye and Superman cartoons. It was fascinating. Some people have argued that these characters are actually Jewish, simply because they were characterized as outsiders. This was a popular sentiment felt by Jewish immigrants when they came to the United States. Best of all, we got to watch these old cartoons.

Finally, I will be coordinating CKCU's coverage of the federal election. My goal is interview as many candidates as I can and organize a debate involving Carleton's Liberal, Conservative, NDP and Green clubs. I'm also going to try to interview at least one party leader. Maybe even, the Prime Minister.

The Hek

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


- New Segment: Volunteer Ottawa placement of the week
- Sports
- Poetry
- Good Stuff

Tune in: 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Some fine selections were offered to The Hek's SUPER PLAYLIST. You can check them out on the comment board from yesterday's entry.

To Mr. Wood: Yes my father still writes to me. They're very moving letters. Usually he tells me what's going on back home, cites some interesting things he has read and then ends it with a passage about his childhood in Campbelleton, New Brunswick. I still have all of them.

Toe Report Day 8: The bandage kept slipping off, but everything looks better. The swelling has gone down.


The Hek

Monday, November 28, 2005


Can you believe it? It's lasted two years; so many posts.

Click here to read the first two original posts.

In tribute to the blog's 2nd anniversary, The Hek is starting his own SUPER PLAYLIST. Here's the first four songs:

1. Kennedy Killed the Hat - Buck 65
2. I read some books - Black Boot Trio
3. Watching the Wheels - John Lennon
4. Vacation - The Go-Go's

Feel free to add your selections and suggestions to The Hek's SUPER PLAYLIST.

Toe Report Day Seven: Went to the doctor's today. He looked at it for three minutes, squeezed it and said that everything looks okay. Doctor told me to keep taking care of it until the guck goes away.

The Hek

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The Hek's doing a fill-in: Catch the Monday Morning Special Blend! 8-9am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

Toe Report Day Six: Things are looking better. The wound is clearing up. We'll see what the doctor says.

The Hek

Saturday, November 26, 2005

We start off with the quote of the week which comes from Owen:

"Hek, sometimes the stuff that comes out of your mouth drives me insane."

Toe Report Day 5: I am very pleased to report that some of the swelling has gone down. I have also finished the anti-infection medication and not a moment too soon. I still have the container of Tylenol 3's and I am not sure what to do with them. They could come in handy, one day.

Now here is a really cool website that I heard about from CBC radio's overnight programs:

Public Information Films

This comes from the United Kingdom's National Archives website. They're special films made to educate a public that was coming off the war. Some may say its propaganda, others might say its a capsule of a different time. Before the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Elvis Costello, Spice Girls and Bloc Party. You be judge on this one. Enjoy.

The Hek

Friday, November 25, 2005

When we last left our hero, it was Wednesday night and The Hek was preparing for Buck 65.

Buck 65 = No dice!

He was doing a free spoken word show at a bar near the Rideau Centre. This was my only chance to see him live. Otherwise, I would have had to shell out a ridiculous amount of money and watch him open up for the Barenaked Ladies at the National Arts Centre. I met up with a person of interest and we headed to the bar. When we arrived, there was a HUGE lineup outside. Fortunately, a friend from the CIA saved us a spot. We waited with high anticipation, only to be turned away by the doorman who announced that the place was overfilled to capacity. Tough break. However, the group I was with made our way to a nice quiet spot in the market where we drank and talked about life, liberty and how its a small world after all. No Buck 65 but nevertheless, a wonderful evening.

Did my show the next morning. I was unable to play the interview with Mike Friscolanti due to a computer malfunction. However, I will air it on Monday when I do a fill in from 8-9am. The highlite of the show was this e-mail that was sent to me while I was on the air:

Good morning,

I'm listening to the Blend, and I think Montreal will

win it. Should be a good match though.

Keep up the good work btw. I'm listening to the

online webcast from Ireland. We don't have CFL here

so without your news I'd be out of touch (I even

forgot the date of the Grey Cup game).

We have "football" and rugby here for sports, but I

miss hearing the Canadian stuff (and televised Hockey

:-P ).

Cheers from across the pond,

This brings us to Friday. I did a presentation on an essay I am writing. It is a study on children, television violence, and wrestling. I must admit, I was really amazed at how well it turned out. I got some great responses from my fellow classmates and the teacher was impressed with my research and my knowledge of wrestling. And, I did it all on a empty stomach. Once again, The Hek proves that he must be a superstar.

Finally, Toe Report Day 3/4: I'm a bit worried about it. It still looks swollen. When I had my second procedure in February, there were immediate changes. That's not the case now. I still get some mini-stingers of pain. It might have to do with the chemical the doctor injected into it. I'll have to wait and see. I'm scheduled to head back there on Monday for a follow up.

The Hek

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

WOOT! The THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND! Where Molloy can be Moran anytime.

This week I will be speaking with National Post reporter Michael Friscolanti, author of Friendly Fire: The Untold Story of the U.S. Bombing that killed four Canadian Soldiers in Afghanistan. I shall also have the sports news, poem of the day and much more. Also, be sure to send me your Grey Cup predictions at I'll read them on the air!

Tune in: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

Toe Report Day Two: I put the dressing on yesterday but the tape doesn't stick that well and scratches my toe. Quite annoying. Also showering has become very difficult.

The Hek

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Toe report Day 1: The Hek has been limping all day. Sandals on sock, people. It's dorky, but hey its strictly for health reasons. In a few hours I will be changing the dressing. To do this, I have taken many packets of salt from the Oasis cafe. This will be used to make warm salt water, which is needed for a perfect removal of the bandages. Stay tuned.

Don't forget: Thursday Morning Special Blend!! 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM Send me your Grey Cup predictions to

The Hek

Monday, November 21, 2005

Today, I had my third operation (in the last 15 months) for my toe. It did not get off to a good start:

Doctor: So, how has it been?

The Hek: How has what been?
Doctor: Your toe. How has it been since I operated on it?

The Hek: You didn't operate on it.

Doctor: What? Oh yeah! You're right, I never did operate on it last week. I totally forgot about that. Okay, I'll operate on it today.

Not exactly something that fills you with confidence. Anyway, he gave me four needles worth of freezing until the toe was completely numb and then, went to work. When he finished, he wrapped me in this huge bandage and prescribed two types of medication for me. One was Tylenol 3 for the pain and the other was Cephalexin, to prevent any type of infection. He also scheduled me to see him again next Monday. I was finished at 6pm and just my luck, the prescription shop at Carleton was closed which meant I would have to get the meds somewhere else. So I walked a couple of blocks to the Shoppers Drug Mart and got the prescriptions filled. Of course, when I was in the store the anesthetic began to ware off and if you ever had an operation with freezing, you know how painful things start to get. Finally, after getting my meds, I called for a Taxi and had to wait on the line for 10 minutes before I spoke to the dispatcher. Then I had to wait for another ten minutes until the cab showed up. So to recap:

$2.75 bus fare + $25.76 medication + $13.50 cab ride home = $42.01 all because of one little toe nail that didn't grow the right way.

I'm a little worried about the pain killers. For the first two operations, the doctors never prescribed them for me. A lot of wrestlers, athletes, celebrities and regular Joes have become addicted and dependent on them. I have already taken two. I pray to God I don't turn into an addict.

Now for something completely unrelated: I was on a very crowded bus, today and I thought to myself, "I wonder what would happen if I lit a fire cracker right here, right now?"

The Hek

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Just got back from CKCU's 30th Anniversary party at Barrymores and The Hek had an awesome time. I had a chance to meet and interview the original station manager, program director and funding drive/advertising coordinator. These guys had a passion and a dream and I do not think any one of them ever dreamed how successful the station has become. For example, in 1978, CKCU held its first funding drive and raised $18, 000. This year, CKCU raised close to $106, ooo.

Best of it all, they made a special program and The Hek has a little blurb about him :-)

It's a shame most people prefer commercial radio over the local campus/community stations or the CBC. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate commercial radio. A job in radio for me, is good anywhere. What I am trying to say here is that there are some real cool things on public radio. One can even argue that creativity runs rampant in public radio while its somewhat subdued in the commercial world.

I am really getting into public broadcasting. This is due to a conversation I had with someone who had worked in commercial radio. She told me left the business because she couldn't afford to eat. She also told me that the only way to get a job in commercial radio is if you get a diploma from a college program (ie: Humber, Algonquin). You can get tons of experience at a campus/community station but to commercial stations, you need to have a certain sound and you can ONLY get that from a college program. It looks like CBC radio is my best bet for getting into the business.

Rock on! You turn me on, I'm a radio.

The Hek

Friday, November 18, 2005

The Hek will first like to extend his deepest condolences to the Brannen family.

I wrote this English paper and took it to the Writing Tutorial Service here on campus. The TA read it over and told me it looked decent. Two days ago, I received my mark on the aforementioned paper. The mark is not important but, what really pissed me off was the following comment written by my prof: "Your writing style undermines the clarity and authority of your argument...I advise you to get in touch as soon as possible with the Writing Tutorial Service. They should be able to improve your writing." The lesson here boys and girls, is that most (but not all) English profs are so pretentious that if you don't write like James Joyce, you're not going to get a good mark. Blastphamey.

The Hek

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Anime Fans! Be sure to catch the next THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND!

On tomorrow's show, I will be speaking with an organizer from the Ottawa Anime Convention. I'll also have the sports recap and Poem of the Day.

Tune in: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM. Thirty Years In Your Ears.

The Hek

Monday, November 14, 2005

Today was one of those productive days when you feel you accomplished a lot. Some highlites for your entertainment.

After doing the second hour of the Monday Blend, I returned to CKCU in the afternoon to record an interview with an organizer from the Ottawa Anime Convention. We finished the interview when for some reason, Cool Edit Pro decided to malfunction, totally deleting the interview. Sheepishly, I told the organizer what happened and asked if we could do it again. He said sure and was totally understanding. We recorded the interview for a second time and it saved properly. Huzzah for understanding people.

Following this, I went over to the Bank Street Medical Centre to meet a specialist for my toe. He decided that the best course of action to take would be to take the nail off and inject a chemical that would kill the cells near the sides of my toe. This means that I would grow back a much narrower toe-nail. The procedure is slated for next Monday.

Specialists are an interesting kind of medical people. What in the world could possibly motivate people to dedicate their life to one particular part of the body. Like the specialist I met today; what made him decide to focus on feet? Is the money better? Is it an area of the body that lacks specialists? Does he have a mysterious foot fetish? Was he ever fascinated by feet?

In closing, The Hek feels his life would be better if he had a car. Anyone want to give me a car?

The Hek

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Looks like The Hek is doing a fill in. Tune in: Monday Blend, 8-9am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

But now, on to something more important:

Eddie Guerrero was found dead in his hotel room this morning, he was 38 years old. In the last few years, Eddie had become one of the best performers in the WWE. He had battled many demons in his lifetime. Alcohol, drugs, etc. But he managed to turn his life around and when he began his second tenure in the WWE in Spring, 2002, his life and career was on the way up. He took part in many notable matches and held the WWE championship for several months.

I cannot even to begin to describe what I am thinking or feeling. I just watched Eddie on Smackdown taking on Ken Kennedy. I am completely in shock. The poor guy had turned his life around but, the hazards to his health remained in his body.

The thing I loved about Eddie was that he was so good at being a bad guy. He played his character well and he always knew how to work the crowd. His catchphrase was: Lie, Cheat, Steal! If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying.

Eddie Guerrero was able to cheat death so many times. But now, he lost his battle. He is gone way too soon. Thank you Eddie, may you rest in peace. Viva La Raza.

1967 - 2005
The Hek

Friday, November 11, 2005

On Monday, I will be seeing yet another specialist about my toe injury. It is hard to believe that I have had this darn thing since January, 2004. The nail has got to go. To make matters worse, I suffered a sandal malfunction yesterday.

It's been a cool week. It's even better now that its the weekend.

The Hek

Thursday, November 10, 2005

I guess it is a small world after all.

I'm in the Doctor's office and I pick up a random magazine: Canadian Business Weekly.

I choose a random story to read; it was about two friends, both involved in investment trading. One friend turned on the other friend by turning him into the authorities for illegal trading.

These friends went to Upper Canada College. The writer of the article interviewed a former teacher of theirs. The teacher's name is Paul Illidge.

Mr. Illidge was my grade 11 and 12 English teacher at Thornlea.

How 'bout that?

The Hek

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND! Interesting fact: Martin Scorsese directed Michael Jackson's Bad music video.

Tomorrow, I'll have the usual stuff such as the sports recap and the poem of the day. Also, I will be airing an interview conducted by a CKCU reporter with a CBC sportscaster who, has written a book on hockey.

Tune in: 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

First off, The Hek extends his deepest condolences to the Wood Family.

It would appear that CBC television has fallen in love with the bio-pic. Off the success of the two Trudeau films, CBC is broadcasting two more bio-pics. On Monday, The Shania Twain story was shown and coming soon is a film about the life of Walter Gretzky. Personally, I have never been a big fan of the made for television bio-pic. There is this sort of cheap feel to it. Most of the ones I have seen have been based on airing out dirty laundry. I have also found that there is a certain higher cultural feel with film bio-pics such as the one about Johnny Cash that will soon be coming out. Perhaps there's a difference with televised Canadian bio-pics then with American ones.

Don't forget: Thursday Morning Special Blend, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Hek evaluates Halloween costumes. Today's costume:

Pro Wrestler Jeff Hardy as portrayed by Debbie Graham of Canmore, Alberta, Canada.

Debbie goes the distance and gets the look down perfectly. Her hair is a bit short but so was Jeff's when he got into the business. What would really be impressive is if she did a swanton bomb onto someone else, through the TV in the background. I would also give points if she administered a twist of fate or possibly some poetry in motion.

Final Mark: A-

The Hek

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Certainly, a fabulous improv show from last night. The crowd was great and everyone brought their A-Game. It makes me so happy to see that the CIA is back to the fine form it once had. Last year was just abysmal for us. Many of our members made it appear that it was a hassle to have practices and shows. They thought they were doing us a favor just by showing up. They had no heart or passion. Thankfully, those individuals are gone from the CIA and replacing them, are new people with talent and that desire to make everyone forget about their troubles by having a good laugh. There's no doubt that we will have more great shows in the months to come.

It has also been a pleasant weekend in terms of my workload. Just had to do a reading which is now done, as well as, a media journal entry. The Hek's taking it easy.

I'll probably head to South Keys for some good ol' fashion grocery shopping.

To finish your weekend, here's some Haiku Hek:

the leaf dances
with the wind
and ages with grace

The Hek

Friday, November 04, 2005

The Hek evaluates Halloween costumes. Today's costume:

Hunter S. Thompson as portrayed by Joey Donovan of Newark, New Jersey.

Just what this world needs, another gonzo journalist. Hard to recognize Hunter these days without the bullet hole in his right temple. Amazing isn't it? The guy writes some successful books, makes tons of money and still decides the world is shit so he pulls the old Kurt Cobain move. Nobody likes a quitter. In any case, Joey may have the tropical shirt, hat and cigar but where he fails is the facial expression. If he was a true Hunter impersonator he would look either depressed or having a real trip, man. Well, you know what they say, Two Hunters are better then one:

It's like looking in a mirror, man. Try fear and loathing in Newark. Hunter #2 lacks the cigar; that will cost him. Final mark: B+

Nice work, Joey!

The Hek

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Hek did so many push-ups today and it was all for a great cause: the CKCU funding drive. In total, I was able to raise $125 and when you add that to what the hour-two host brought in, the Thursday Blend came very close to hitting the $1000 mark. I actually felt good after doing all those push-ups. I should exercise more often.

Now, The Hek will turn his attention to the first show of 2005-06 year for the Carleton Improv Association. We've got some cool new members this year and I guarantee you'll have a good laugh when you watch us. The show is on Saturday, November 5th, 7:30pm, Commons Grill in the Residence Commons building on the Carleton University Campus. Come one, come all!

(Picked this off of Tim's blog)
The Hek presents: Backstreet Boys in China

The Hek

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


It's simple, for a twenty dollar donation, The Hek will do twenty push-ups live on the air. Dial and donate from 7-8am by calling 613-520-2528.

Listen: 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Hek has been up since 6:30am. Why? For the Special Blend Breakfast. Yes, The Hek spent four hours showing off his class, charm, character and charisma and getting people to purchase baked goods for the CKCU funding drive.

Although it was four hours and I was practically dead at the end, I had an awesome time. We raised almost $160! Not bad at all.

Now, I must return to the life of university student and continue to write a film paper the sucks balls.

In the meantime, I have come up with an awesome gimmick for my next funding drive show. If someone donates $20, The Hek will do 20 push-ups live on the air. 613-520-2528 is the number to donate and there's also the secure online pledge on CKCU's website.

Be sure to check out the Thursday Morning Special Blend. 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Another conversation between The Hek and his roommate.

Mark: Yo, this is great, my girlfriend is finally getting into hockey. She's doing her homework and watching the Leafs game. Wow, I can't believe that she's getting into hockey.

The Hek: Hey that's awesome! Now she's getting into hockey. And then, when you guys get married she'll be getting into you. HAHAHAHA. I'm just joking with you man. I take that back.

Mark: You can take it back as much as you want. I'm dumping all my lint and snot dried tissues on your bed and you're lucky that's all that I am doing. Frig.

The Hek

Friday, October 28, 2005

Yeah, a co-worker at CKCU comes up to me and asks me if I can read a funding drive add. I said sure and asked for a script. He informs me that he could not think of a script and tells me to come up with something. So, in three minutes I jotted down this:

The CKCU Funding Drive Rap

It's funding drive time/and it's not a crime/because it's never to late/to dial and donate/So if you'd like to be a huge hero/dial five two oh, three nine two zero

Snoop and Fity better watch out.

The Hek

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Congratulations go out to the Chicago White Sox for winning their first World Series in 88 years. Now they may laugh in the face of the Cubs.

a slow moving sand,
pushed by the water
gives the ground foundation

The Hek

Wednesday, October 26, 2005 not a term to describe: The THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND.

Huge show this week. Everyone will get to hear my interview with hockey columnist, Al Strachan.

It is also the first funding drive show! You can make a donation during the show by calling 613-520-2528 or at another time by making a secure online pledge at CKCU's website!

Tune in: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Here's what really sucks about being a University student. I wake up after a night's sleep and I hate it. I hate it because it means I have to get up and do a bunch of shit I don't really care about. Then, there's my Scorsese prof who has the nerve to scold the class today for a lack of participation in discussion and not doing the readings. I'm sorry, I have a bunch of other assignments to take care of. I'm not just taking your class, prof. He expects us to think and act like him. Let me be the first to tell him that such a thing like that is impossible. When I started as a supervisor at Kiddies Korner/Camp Capers, I tried to get my staff to be as passionate and hard working as I was. It didn't happen and I was miserable. Then, I said "screw it" and accepted the staff for the way they were. Sure enough, I enjoyed it more. There's a good lesson for you. At least I got to see Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. Nothing like a psychotic Harvey Kietel to ease my troubles.

Now for something important: The CKCU funding drive has begun!

You as a listener to CKCU help provide one third of the funding required to keep the station on the air. Without your support each year at this time, CKCU could not continue to function. For a mere $40 an hour, CKCU provides quality programming with the help of 200+ community volunteers. CKCU provides varied and unique music and spoken word programming not available on any other radio station. Help support community radio - whether you live in Ottawa, or listen outside the city on the internet.

Make a secure online pledge on CKCU's website or call 613-520-2528 on Thursday from 7-8am EST during the Thursday Morning Special Blend.

Be sure to note/say your pledge is for the Thursday Blend! And don't forget to catch the show, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, October 24, 2005

Coolest thing happened to me, today.

I'm at Sunnyside, about to cross Bronson to get to Carleton when suddenly, two officers on motorcycles stop in the middle of the intersection and hold up traffic. I look over and sure enough, Condelezza Rice's motorcade passes by. You had to have seen the convoy of black, bullet proof, tinted window cars with sirens on them; that along with the Ottawa police officers. All this for one person. Of course, it is the US Secretary of State.

And now, for you "Oh man, that's gotta suck" moment of the week: Turns out my only exam will be held on Monday, December 19th. Ouch.

Finally, my roommate and I were talking about what it would be like if we became those southern style preachers you see on television sometimes. Mark informed me that I would have to refine my way of talking because apparently, preachers aren't allowed to say things like "titty bar."

The Hek

Sunday, October 23, 2005

4:30am Fire Alarm. In the pouring rain. Heads will role for this.

Because of it, I woke up late and now the day is pretty much up the shits.

To make matters worse, the residence convience store doesn't have regular milk. So instead I had chocolate milk in my Rick Krispys. At least the burrito was better.

As for the World Series: Sox in six.

The Hek

Saturday, October 22, 2005

And so ends a very stressful week with two mini-papers and one presentation done and gone from my list of shit to do for the remainder of this term.

Today, I was at CKCU as we kicked off our funding drive. Along with answering phones I made an add and voiced another. I don't know what it is but whenever I'm there, I have the most fun. Then I hoped on the bus and headed downtown. A rather embarrassing moment occurred on this bus ride. I stood up to get off when the bus driver slammed on the brakes and suddenly, I was sitting on the lap of some suburban thuged out kid. I apologized and got off the bus very quickly.

I went downtown to attend the monthly Capital Slam Tournament and support my buddy Owen Hewitt who competes in the contest. Owen introduced me to a couple of poets and told them about how I was DJ at CKCU who had a segment called the "Thursday Blend Poem of The Day." To my surprise, they actually knew of the segment and have listened to my show. The cynic in me figured that Owen probably gave them that information before I got there. But then the poets talked about a poem I had played a week ago that I knew Owen didn't know about. This confirmed their statements and made me feel damn good.

The poetry was great and the two headliners were phenomenal. One of the headliners was a girl from Montreal named Katalyst. She totally blew the audience away with her style of speaking and musical improvisation. I enjoyed her so much that I bought her home made CD for $5.oo. I'm really stunned that I did this. I usually don't buy things that are not essential. But something made me want to support this artist. It's not a bad CD at all. I might even play it on my show.

Now for some fun: Bonnie Tyler and Meatloaf - Total Eclipse of the Heart.

The Hek

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Quite the day today, everyone.

The highlite was definitely my interview with hockey columnist Al Strachen. The interview went off perfectly and he signed my copy of his new book, Go to The Net: 8 goals that changed the game.

I also managed to finish my proposal for my Social Movements class. The prof wanted 1000 words; he's getting 990.

I'm still trying to figure out why my posts are at the bottom of the page. If anyone knows why, please let me know because even for The Hek, it gets irritating scrolling down just to find the newest post.

The Hek

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND! The best thing to get you out of bed since instant coffee.

Tomorrow, I'll have the sports recap including who won Game 6 of the NLCS last night as well as the poem of the day and so much more. Got something cool to say? Just send me an e-mail at

Tune in, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

It's been a while since the last episode of Haiku Hek; so:

expectations start to mount
on a weary soul
cold inside the body

Catch the Thursday Morning Special Blend! 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, October 17, 2005

My friend Jen (Leafs fan) sent The Hek (Habs fan) a picture of his grade 1 class photo. Funny, real funny. As you can tell, even back then The Hek was a lone wolf and loved every minute of it.

The Hek

Sunday, October 16, 2005

This conversation took place at 12:30pm today between The Hek and his roommate.

Mark: Hey.

The Hek: Hey, you went to church?

Mark: Of course I went.

The Hek: Yeah that's what I figured.

Mark: Well, where else would I have gone on a Sunday morning?

The Hek: Titty bar?

Mark: You're disgusting.

The Hek

Saturday, October 15, 2005

"Remember: The safety word is 'cookie.'"

All I have to say is dirtiest improv practice, ever.

The Hek

Friday, October 14, 2005

Apparently, I have two types of voices. There's my regular voice and then, there's my radio voice. According to Jen and Sandra, my radio voice came out when I did an article presentation in class today. I can see that happening.

Did a bunch of things at CKCU, today. First, I started to put together an add for a Special Blend Pancake breakfast that is being organized. I also got to go On Air again, sort of. Actually, I "teched" for someone. Teched means that a show's host is not trained on the soundboard or doesn't want to work the board; so, they get someone else to basically push the buttons and make sure the sound is good. That's what I did for a show called Window of Oppourtunity. It was a lot of fun and I got to hear some pretty good folky type music. I also got a free CD: Paul Anka's Rock Swings. He takes all these modern rock hits and gives them a big band sound.

Now, two people have commented on my statements about Buck 65 being the best Canadian musician ever. They suggested Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell and Alanis Morisette.

I consider Cohen to be a spoken word artist rather then a musician. I'm not really into the light folk sound of Joni Mitchell. And, despite Alanis has really developed her sound well, I feel Buck 65 is just more creative. Of course it's all my opinion and the three suggestions are certainty the best at what they do.

The Hek

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Hek hopes that everyone's Yom Kippur fast went well today. May we all be sealed in the book of life.

The show went extremely well and this was because I got to play the new Buck 65 single. It is an amazing tune. In fact, The Hek is going on the record to state that Buck 65 is the best Canadian musician of all time. He could totally trounce Neil Young and Shania Twain for example.

The Hek

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Where morning wood is always expected;-)

Tomorrow, I'll play an interview I conducted with Evan Annett who has just written a book which chronicles 60 years of Carleton's independent student newspaper, The Charlatan.

I'll also have the sports recap, poem of the day, entertainment listings and so much more.

Requests? Predictions? Questions? Comments? Send them to

Tune in: 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tomorrow, the second round of the Baseball playoffs will begin. Here's how The Hek's predictions went:

The Hek Predicted
-Chicago over Boston in 5
-New York over Los Angeles/Anaheim in 5
-St.Louis over San Diego in 3
-Atlanta over Houston in 4

Here's what happened
-Chicago over Boston in 3
-Los Angeles/Anaheim over New York in 5
-St.Louis over San Diego in 3
-Houston over Atlanta in 5

I gave myself one half point if I got the team right and one half point if I picked the right games. This means I scored a 1.5 out of 4 which gives me, 38% accuracy. Hey, I didn't say I was an expert. The Yankees/Angels series could have gone either way; Chicago just dominated the Red Sox; Houston got some lucky brakes against the Braves; and, I was bang on with the Cardinals sweeping the Padres. So now, here are The Hek's predictions for round two:

American League Championship Series
Los Angeles/Anaheim vs. Chicago

Beating the Yankees was a huge confidence booster for the Angels and they will definitely gain an early advantage on the White Sox who haven't played since Friday. Then again, the White Sox are well rested and the injury to Angles pitcher Bartolo Colon may hurt his team. Still, it shall be an exciting series.
Chicago in 6

National League Championship Series
St. Louis vs. Houston

The Astros are starting to look like this year's version of the 2004 Red Sox. You have to give them credit for handling Atlanta like that. However, as long as St. Louis brings their 'A' game, I don't see the Astros making an appearance in the fall classic.
St. Louis in 6

Feel free to send me your predictions to I'll read them on the air! And don't forget to catch the Thursday Morning Special Blend; 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Monday, October 10, 2005

On Air Tonight: Monday, 9-11pm on CKCU 93.1 FM

I saw A History of Violence last night with my bud Owen, whose family made a great Thanksgiving meal. A History of Violence was not a bad film. Essentially, it is a film about identity told in the typical Cronenberg style (emphasis on the body). It gets The Hek Seal of Approval.

I already did a fill in today at the station from 8:30 - 9:00am and then I'm back at it at 9pm. Unfortunately the internet is down in the studio so I'm going to prepare some stuff before I head there.

The Hek

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Today I was going to talk about some silly stuff at the Rideau Centre yesterday. But I don't want to, anymore. Something has happened. This is what happened.

When I was a young boy. My bed time would usually occur during the 4th or 5th inning of the Blue Jays game. But that never mattered because when I got to bed, I would simply turn on my radio and hear this man's voice. His voice was always calm and the descriptions he gave were well spoken but still easy enough for a youngster like me to understand. I would close my eyes and he would paint a picture for me; a landscape of heroes who I have worshipped for most of my life. For me, as a young child, it was the voice of god preaching the gospel known as baseball. Perhaps it was because of this man that I fell in love with sports and radio. His voice planted the seeds which now blossomed into this dream of working in radio.

Of course he was just a regular person who worked hard; an artist who constantly worked at his craft to please his fans. He didn't care about being popular. He cared about telling a story as best he could. From April 7, 1977 to June 13, 2004, this man called everything single Blue Jays game. Amongst all that was five division titles, two pennets and two world championships.

Now he is gone and although I never met him, I feel a great sense of loss. I am actually crying as I write this as I am sure everyone who grew up listening to him is as well. Thank you, Tom Cheek for everything, we shall miss you very much and we all will do our best so that one day, you will be recognized by Cooperstown.

The Hek

Saturday, October 08, 2005

"I can't believe you're crazy enough to go to the Renegades game on a miserable cold rainy day like this but all the power to you. Go Gades!"

- Noel Waghorn leaving a message on The Hek's voice mail

I did go. Despite the fact that Frank Claire Stadium is a 15 minute walk from where I live and I have been living in Ottawa for almost four years, I have never watched a Renegades football game. I didn't even go to the Grey Cup which had the Argos in it and I have seen a bunch of 67's hockey games at the Civic Centre which is underneath Frank Claire. But that changed tonight. I decided to treat myself to some good old Friday night CFL action.

"Hey bud, want some free tickets courtesy of HOT 89.9?"

- Some stranger as The Hek was about to take out his wallet at the box office.

I saved $25! And they were good seats too. Lower south side near the east endzone. Ottawa beat Hamilton 43-21. The Tiger-Cats did a fine job of making the Renegades look like the top team in the CFL as opposed to their current dismal performance from this season. After the game, I walked by the players entrance and Kerry Joseph, the quarterback for the Renegades came out and started signing autographs. I got his signature on my ticket stub.

So to sum up: Free ticket + Autograph + Renegades win = One damn fine night.

The Hek

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Spoke with someone from my past last night. It was a nice conversation. Some air was cleared. Some views were clarified. Some things never change. Some pleasantness exchanged.

The Hek

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Tomorrow, I will be speaking with writer and hockey fan Chris Robinson about the Senators and the new hockey season. I've also got some great tunes, sports, poems, entertainment listings and Bytowne movie listings.

Tune in: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Saw a great film today called Mean Streets. It stars a very young Harvey Kietel and an even younger Robert De Niro. Scorsese's first successful film and definitely one of his best.

But that's not what I am here to talk about. The World Series playoffs have started and here are The Hek's predictions:

NLDS 1: St. Louis vs. San Diego
The Cardinals have been my pick to win it all this year. They are a very strong team. Chris Carpenter had an amazing season as did Pujos and Edmonds. The Padres made it into the post-season by the skin of their teeth. I'm sorry, it's impossible to win the World Series when your regular season record had you just two games above 500. An easy one for the Cards.
St. Louis in 3

NLDS 2: Atlanta vs. Houston
For the second straight year, the Astros overcome a horrible start and make it into the playoffs. That's good but not great. The Braves have Ted Turner who provides lots of cash. Cash buys good ball players. Good ball players get success. Sad to say it, but its true.
Atlanta in 4

ALDS 1: Chicago vs. Boston
Since the season started, I have been telling people to watch out for the American League Central Division; especially the Twins and White Sox. Chicago has put together a pretty good team. They'll probably take the pennet too. As for the defending champion Red Sox, last year was full of miracles and good strokes of luck. But as my drama teacher, Mr. Stone once said: "Lighting does not strike twice.'
Chicago in 5

ALDS 2: New York vs. Los Angeles/Anaheim
The Yankees are exactly like the Braves. The Angels will put up a good fight but in the end, New York's experience will carry them through the next round.
New York in 5

Want to tell me your predictions? I'd love to hear them. I'll even read them on the air. Send me an email at

And don't forget the THURSDAY BLEND. 7-8am EST on
CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Hek would like to wish a very Happy and Healthy Shana Tova to everyone out there in the internet. May your year be sweet and may we all live to 120.

Now, I should have gotten a laptop.

Back in the summer of 2002, I was getting ready to purchase a new computer for my upcoming first year at Carleton. However, my father and I were originally going to get a laptop. We were turned off the idea because many people told us that laptops were one of the top things stolen at Universities. You turn your back on it, its gone. So instead we got my current compy. Today I am regretting that decision.

I almost spent the entire day in my room in front of this damn compy, typing out an essay while outside was just absolutely gorgeous. It got so bad, that I nearly had a panic attack. I'm not kidding, I was clawing the screen to my window. Finally, I just shut everything down and went outside to buy some bagels and a fine bottle of root beer.

If I had a laptop I could have typed out my essay outside at one of my "peaceful" spots; say, by the canal or at the steps of Parliament Hill. But that's just not in the cards.

The Hek

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Yes, The Hek has changed the look. Thought I'd give it a little more flair.

First off, TNA Impact was fantastic. The two X Division matches were phenomenal and it was nice to watch Jeff Hardy and Rhino again. That's one of the main problems with the WWE. They have so much talent and not enough television time for everyone. Thankfully TNA has a small roster that coincides nicely with Impact and their syndicated show, Xpolsion. The X Division is the reason why TNA has been successful so far. In order to be a strong alternative to WWE, they really need to push the X Division properly. It doesn't really help when you've got all this amazing action from the X Division and have awesome crowd pops and then have your main feud be a couple of wrestlers that really don't need to be the main attractions; i.e. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash. In the meantime I am going to pray that AJ Styles never joins the WWE for he will be berried by Vince McMahon.

In other news, the Blue Jays wrapped up their season with 7-2 victory over Kansas City. This leaves them with a record of 80-82; a good improvement to 2004's 67-95 campaign. The main thing that really hurt the Jays this year was consitancy. One week they would play like All-Stars and the next week, play like the Bad News Bears. It also did not help when Roy Halliday went down with the season ending injury in July. Had that never happened, we would've had a few more wins and Halliday would have won the Cy Young award. There were some bright spots. Russ Adams, Gustavo Chacin and Aaron Hill had great rookie seasons. Shea Hillendbrand and Gregg Zaun had career years. The offense is there; it's the pitching that really needs to be fixed if the Jays want to compete for the World Series.

Finally, Mark and I have been pulling pranks on each other. I think Mark leads 5-3. Today however, he purposely startled me so bad that I threw down a fork and it took a chunk off one of my plates. If I didn't laugh so much over it, I would be really pissed off about it.

The Hek

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Double Dragon


Mike Tyson's Punchout

I am playing these games and I love it.

The Hek

Friday, September 30, 2005

The Hek, The Hek, The Hek IS ON FIRE!!!

Saw an amazing match off the NWA: Total Non-Stop Action website. Ultimate X Challenge: AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabain vs. Petey Williams. I cannot wait for TNA's debut on Spike. If you have not seen this stuff, The Hek highly recommends you see these guys in action. It is an awesome alternative to WWE.

The week is over people. Thank fucking god. I have an assignment every week until the beginning of December.

Just got off the phone with the ever so good hearted ErinMarie. She told me that York University is the only school in Canada that cancels classes for Jewish New Year. Now that's something. I remember in high school when even the non-Jewish students wouldn't go to school on the high holidays.

Now to Mr. Wood: the 80's music I played on my show was by Linda Talyor and Billy Curtz (not sure if I got his name right). I also played a live version "Keep on Rockin' In The Free World" and Johnny Cash's "Walk The Line."

And to Pear and Soup Girl: Wrestling catch phrases totally reek of awesomeness. They're as memorable as movie quotes. Props must go out to you for recognizing the phrase. The question is, do you know who said it? If you guess it right, I'll give The Claire Witch Project an honorary Hek Seal of Approval.

The Hek

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Tons of stuff to get to today.

The show went well today. I love live radio especially, when things happen unexpectedly and you have to think on your feet. Just before I hit the air, I notice that there were no CD carts. Without these, I can't play CD's; so, I busted out the vinyl. This will explain why the show featured a mini-set of 80's Canadian Rock. Fortunately, I was able to locate a cart near the end the show and played one CD (it happened to have the poem of the day on it). The only downside was that both the K-OS and Death From Above 1979 CDs disappeared from our library.

My roommate Mark had an interesting dream. He dreamt that a mystery girl came into our apartment, bawling her eyes out. Apparently, I went over to cheer her up and did such a good job of this, that the girl and I went into my room and Rocked The Casbah without even having the decency to shut the door. Then, Sandra and Jen came over and witnessed what was going on while Mark was playing poker on his compy. Not going to lie to you: Best dream of me ever by someone else. I hope Mark is a psychic.

My film professor made a reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I shuddered as I remember watching this during the summer. Good idea for a TV show. Bad idea for a film. Unless your name is Erin or Marie, the darn thing puts you to sleep.

Finally, there were two interesting comments made for my September 28th entry. I encourage you all to read them. Anglelina's comment was well done. As for the comment made by (I believe) Pear and Soup girl, she is just jealous of my Hollywood good looks and Brad Pitt hair.

Smell you later,
The Hek

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

OH it's true. It's damn true.

Be sure to catch the Thursday Morning Special Blend, tomorrow. I'll have the sports recap, poem of the day, and so much more.

LISTEN: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I like it how in her last week as Governor General, Adrienne Clarkson held a bunch of parties and moved off Rideau Hall in a brand new car. This was probably all paid for by all us Canadian tax payers. How about that?

Now, The Hek will comment about the comments from yesterday's blog.

1. The Hek smells like a rose. Beautiful and sensual and manly.

2. I would never body slam women. Don't know what Mr. Wood was thinking there.

Don't forget: Thursday Morning Special Blend, 7-8am on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, September 26, 2005

The Hek is now an official member of Axe U. CKCU received a complementary "student" kit and my PD decided to give it me. Inside the kit was a small container of Axe body spay, which means one thing: I can now conduct my experiment.

I'm going to put that stuff on and see if women throw themselves at me like the commercial. Stay tuned.

The Hek

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Spent another weekend reading pointless stuff that will mostly have no effect on my future. What the hell is the point of University anyway? I am sick and tired of jumping through all these hoops for the last four years just to get some paper that tells people that I know a thing or two about the Mass Media. Every time I have to fork out money for something so overpriced and sit and learn about the hegemonic process, I feel a little more dead inside. Whoever said that University is about acquiring knowledge was probably someone so fearful of the outside world. University is about finding yourself and figuring out what the hell you want to do with your life. The real lessons are outside the classroom. Instead of papers and presentations, we should be graded on how we do our laundry, how we budget our expensive, how we balance our social life with our work life. Our diplomas should come when we do decide on a career path. I figured out what I wanted to do in the summer of 2004. It took me only two years.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I just wanted to stay there. I did not want to get out because I knew I would have to walk on down to the off campus book store and plop down some cash for a 500 page book that I probably won't even finish. Some bullshit by DH Lawrence, Women in Love. The only thing that made the trip tolerable was my desire to really see the beauty that Ottawa has.

I love Ottawa. I love Carleton. But I just hate school.

The Hek

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Today, The Hek and his buddy Owen went to go see The Corpse Bride. Clocking in at only 77 minutes, this film gets straight to the plot and disposes of the usual filler. I have never been interested in films that were entirely made with computer graphics and playdoh; however, it was an entertaining film and had some funny parts. I give it 3 HEKS out of five and award it The Hek Seal of Approval (suck on it, Toothless Timmy).

The Hek

Friday, September 23, 2005

I would like to make the following statement:

There has been some controversy regarding The Hek Seal of Approval. Allegations have been raised stating that The Hek Seal of Approval is a ripoff of a similar award known as "The ErinMarie Seal of Approval." Let me go on the record by stating that The Hek Seal of Approval is an original idea and that anything else that has any resemblance to it is strictly coincidental.

The Hek Seal of Approval is like your boss giving you the thumbs up whereas the ErinMarie one is like getting a pat of the back by Toothless Timmy in the mail room.

If there is anyone who disagrees with my above statements, I cordially invite them to Ottawa where we can have a fight to the death to decide who is right.

The Hek

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I was on the air for five hours today and I loved it! Everything went quite well. There's a chance that some clips will be put on The Charlatan website. Thanks to everyone who listened; especially to all the Starbacks out there in radio land.

In other news, The Dudley Boys have signed with NWA-TNA. This is huge as Bubba Ray and D-Von are one of the most successful tag teams in history. They're the only team to capture the WWE, WCW and ECW titles. There's a lot of talent that the WWE released and if TNA was smart, they would sign them all. Think about it; Charlie Haas, Billy Kidman, Mohammed Hassan, Matt Morgan etc.

The Hek

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The Hek will be on the airwaves for five hours tomorrow.

You can catch me from 7-8am EST for the Thursday Morning Special Blend.

Then, I will be broadcasting from 12-4pm EST for The Charlatan 60th Anniversary BBQ.

Tune to: CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Hek went to see a film last night with Mark and Simon. The only question was which film would they see. The Man or Lord Of War.

In the end, we chose to see Lord Of War. It was a great film that makes a very strong statement at the end of the film. This film receives The Hek Seal Of Approval.

The Hek

Sunday, September 18, 2005

For the second straight Sunday, I did my readings by the Rideau Canal near Colonel By Drive. I found this really nice spot that has the only bench in any form of shade. As I was reading, a man who was obviously homeless showed up and parked his bike (with a trunk attached to it) next to the bench. Of course, I did not mind. He did his thing and I did mine. But then, he took out a hammer, a paint brush and a can of black pine tar and began to hammer tar off the brush into the small pond across form the bench while muttering something incoherent under his breath. I took that as my cue to exit. Now, I have nothing against the homeless. In most cases, they're homeless because of circumstances beyond their control. However, when they start to act "weird" and "crazy," I feel threatened. I could have stayed there and no harm would probably happen to me. But - and I am sorry to be like this - you never know what could happen. Maybe its just my paranoia talking.

In the meantime, I am sitting back and listening to an NHL Pre-Season game. Canadiens and Thrashers to be exact. It is good to hear hockey again. Who knows what the new NHL will look like.

The Hek

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Ladies and gentlemen. The following match is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit. Making his way to the ring, from Thornhill, Ontario, weighing in at 150 pounds.....The Hek!

Had a great time at Noel's birthday party yesterday. I was assigned to keep him busy while his wife set up the surprise party and cake. And it was a good cake. Safe to say that I have had my monthly quota of sugar.

Today is also the first meeting of the Carleton Improv Association. Along with CKCU, the CIA is great escape from the bullshit that goes along with being a university student.

The Hek

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Man it felt damn good to be back on the radio this morning. I am really excited for next week. Not only will I be doing the Thursday Blend from 7-8am but, I will also be co-hosting a program that will celebrate the 60th anniversary of Carleton's student newspaper, The Charlatan. That will go from 12:00 - 4:00pm on Thursday. More details to come.

The Hek

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Be sure to tune into the THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. Tomorrow I'll have a recap of the local sports teams and interviews with Ottawa's top spoken word artists who just released a new album called Live at Capital Slam 2005. Plus there will be much more.

I am very excited about doing the show. I'm not sure what's going to happen, there might be some mistakes because I have not done it in four months; but regardless, it is going to be off the chain.

7-8 am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Hek has always had a knack for choosing the right courses to take; and this time, The Hek has hit the jackpot.

The course I am taking is FILM 3901: Selected Topic in Film Studies.

This term's selected topic: Martin Scorsese

That's correct, you read it right. Until the start of December, The Hek will be viewing all his best work. Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and, even some films that inspired him.

There is only one negative aspect. The instructor has apparently forgotten that the students have four other courses to worry about and therefore, has assigned a crapload of reading each week. I have a feeling that the instructor is one of those power hungry profs who had a miserable life and gets back at the world with his new authority. We shall see.

The Hek

Sunday, September 11, 2005

The Hek got new Spek's. They look great! But speaking about eyewear, I am really getting bugged by sunglasses. Too many people hide behind these things. Every time I pass someone wearing sunglasses, I don't know if they're looking at me, frowning at me or looking at something past me. It is quite unnerving.

The Hek

Saturday, September 10, 2005

After getting on the bus following a rather inconvenient hour wait, the strangest thought hit me in the head.

What if this was all just a dream? What if it is still August, 2002 and I am still that skinny 19-year-old who has been sheltered from the real world all his life? What if all the people I have met, kissed and made love to never existed; they were all just a figment of my imagination.

Of course, I know its real. What do you think I am? Some Thornhill loving, psycho-drama promoting art-teeist? I don't think so.

I was like that, a long time ago.

The Hek

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Interesting way to start off the school year.

I arrived at my first class (Modern Publicity State, 8:30 - 11:30am) of the year; so did everyone else. There was just one thing missing, the prof. She didn't show up. So, after 45 minutes, we decided collectively to leave. Being mostly fourth year students, we had the decency to leave her a note with all our student numbers on it. Later in the day, I and my fellow class mates received an e-mail from the prof. It turns out that she got stuck in traffic and was unable to make it to Carleton. She did send us our course syllabus in an attachment and also noted that our coursepack/text book was available at Octopus Books at the corner of Third Avenue and Bank Street for................................$77.00.

$77?! Are you kidding The Hek?

Two things irritate The Hek about this.

First off, the pack/book is at an independent book store. Not cool. See, I purposely put a lot of money on my campus card so that I have enough money for texts when I purchase them at Carleton's book store. When a prof puts a text at an independent book store like Octopus Books or Allegra Publishing it means that I have to pay out of my own personal account instead of using my campus card. Basically, all the money I put on my campus card for books goes to waste.

Second, $77 for a bunch of articles I am probably going to read once? Not going to happen, people.

Here is what's going to happen. The Hek is taking the strategy his roommate is using. I am going to go to the library, find every book that originally published the articles for the upcoming week and the photo copy them at 8 cents a page. Think about it, a 40 page article will only cost me $3.20. That's it, that's all, baby goes to sleep.

The Hek

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

If you can translate this, you have no life. Got ya!

The Hek

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Just set up a brand new Fantasy Hockey team on the Yahoo website. This year, teams will crumble when LES HABS take the ice. I am also listening to the Blue Jays over the computer. Right now, they are losing to Baltimore, 4-0. Ted Lilly didn't last three innings giving up five walks and three earned runs. Just The Hek's luck, Lilly is on my fantasy baseball team. In the end its always the same story for the Blue Jays: with the exception of Roy Halliday, they lack consistent pitching.

Went on over to CKCU today to see how things are. Turns out that my first show will be on September 15. I was really hoping to start this Thursday but, it appears that the guy who does the timeslot now (7-8am) has already planned a show. He might let me do the show this week since he already does the 8:00 - 9:30am on Thursdays and he reluctantly agreed to do the extra hour until I got back to Ottawa. For the time being, I'll start next week and I can't wait. I love being on the radio. It's what I want to do once I finish school. When I am at CKCU, its a wonderful escape from the craziness that goes with being a University student. In the meantime, I was given some sports books to look at and possibly interview the authors. I also plan on covering the CD release party for the Capital Slam poets.

I found this really cool website. It's a blog for New York radio station WFMU. On this blog there is a section that has these neat MP3's of strange remixes and weird sound bites from other radio stations. For example, there's an MP3 clip of a CBC Northern Service broadcast during the 1981 CBC strike. Basically, you have this Inuit man who apparently worked as a janitor and filled in for the striking radio staff. He speaks in his native language and then sings a song about the Ayatollah. There are also clips of Inuit commercials for beer companies.

Check out it here: WFMU's On the Download

This was my favourite clip: Michael Jackson vs. Cookie Monster

The Hek

Monday, September 05, 2005

If there is one thing that I love about downtown Ottawa, it would have to be Wellington Street. On this one single street are all the important government buildings. Sure, Toronto may have all its tourist attractions but Wellington Street is the epicentre of our historic and cultural development. It was in these buildings where the seeds were planted that gave Canadians the ability to define themselves. Almost every building was built in the late 1800's/early 1900's, has beautiful gardens and, is surrounded by paths that allow you to see the building in its entirety. The architecture is just breathtaking.

So here is how I took advantage of a beautiful day in Ottawa. First, I got off at the Parliament buildings and then made my way to the Supreme Court of Canada. While there, I wrote about about Justice. Then, I made my way to the National Archives and Library which has some amazing exhibits and free postcards. Finally, I finished my journey by walking the Ottawa River path which takes me to the Rideau Canal. I went up the stairs from there, past the NAC, War Memorial and then back to parliament where I took the bus home. All in all, three hours of fresh air and good exercise.

Time to get off the soapbox.

The Hek

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Have no fear, dear reader. The Hek is back at Good Ol' Carleton U.

I am happy to report that my place is in the same condition I left it in. However, there was one sweet addition: a fluorescent light. Last year, my room only had two small light bulbs. This year, there is this mother of a fluorescent light over my compy and suddenly my room is bright. About fucking time if you ask The Hek.

Last night, I enjoyed some quality television, i.e. the original Dukes of Hazzard and WWE: Velocity. Good to see Spanky back in the WWE. I also had my first improv show of the year and it went well. It attracted quite a number of froshies.

In any case, it feels damn good to be back in Ottawa. I don't know what it was (it certainly wasn't my friends and co-workers, just for the record) but, I felt somewhat held down in Thornhill.

The Hek

Friday, September 02, 2005

Time to go back to Ottawa. You can expect more entries from here on. Now that was a summer that reeked of awesomeness.

The Hek


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

A child with one shoe
still runs in a haze
colliding with a wall

The Hek

Friday, August 12, 2005

Another reason why The Hek is a true Superstar:

Today, The Hek ate seven slices of pizza. They were all pepperoni. This completely shatters any Thornhill Camp Staff record. Take that, East St. Louis.

The Hek

Monday, August 08, 2005

Gotta Love Haiku Hek

the golden cylinder
sitting on a rock
steals my memories

The Hek

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Today was the day I was to register for my courses. Now at first, everything went well. I had successfully registered in 4 fall courses and was about to put in a fifth one when the Central website stopped working. I spent the next 90 minutes trying to get back online but despite my best efforts I kept getting a page that simply read "This Page Does Not Exist." I called Carleton to find out what was going on. Turns out the website crashed and was down for awhile. Amazing isn't it. They spend all this money for this great website that is suppose to make registering easy and yet it can't handle a small section of the student population whose student cards have the last two digits of 75-83.

Finally, after much frustration, the website came back and I was ready to continue. But then, just as I am about to finish my fall schedule a great big rainstorm causes the power in my building to go out and remained out for a good ten minutes. I almost threw my computer out the window.

What was suppose to take maybe 30 minutes took three hours. I have all my courses ready to go. Thank God this is my last year and I will never have to do this again. (knocks on wood). One thing is for sure. I bet I was not the only one who wasted a beautiful afternoon cursing Carleton Central.

The Hek

Sunday, July 31, 2005

It would appear a rather embarrassing photo of The Hek, Mike and Jess have surfaced on Erin-Marie's Live Journal. As of now The Hek has no comment on the picture in question nor the people involved. Don't you just hate it when a practical joke backfires.

The Hek

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Haiku :-)

a slow passionate breeze
swallowed by the trees
causes an apple to fall

The Hek

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Some thoughts from the cafeteria at St.Micheal's Hospital:

Today, there was a terrorist attack in England; a series of explosions in London's subway system. Two innocent people have lost their lives. Now, I'm not a Bush supporter, but I do support the war on terror. There has to be an end to this bloodshed.

Camp is going fine. I have a camper with an awesome mullet.

That is all

The Hek

Sunday, June 26, 2005

purpil rockets blast off
through a demension of pleasure
for a misguided french girl

The Hek

Saturday, June 18, 2005

The Hek is flying by the seat of his pants and I love it!

flash of heat is felt
to the sounds of earth
father vadar

The Hek

Friday, June 17, 2005

Pushing a Giant log
Jousting a friend and losing
very sore today

The Hek

Monday, June 13, 2005

I began camp preparation. However, throughout the entire day I felt empty and sad. I'm not sure if it was simply a case of not wanting to be there or something else. I use to enjoy working the camps. Now, I'm just going through the motions. It's like I'm on a total different wave length then my co-workers. I enjoy them and they're wonderful people but I just don't fit in. They all want to be teachers. I want to be a DJ on the radio. See the problem?

Family Guy and American Dad were off the charts. Yet, I heard some information that I don't care about but it made my blood boil for some reason. In any case, I got three awesome CDs from my boys so, there's something to look forward to.

Now: Three quotes from Paul Heymen.

"JBL, you are only champion because HHH didn't want to work on Tuesday."

"Edge, I have two words for you; Matt Hardy."

"I'm not crying. My eyes are red because I smoked a joint with Van Dam in the back."

Thursday, June 09, 2005

CENA?! John Cena is now on Monday Night RAW. The Hek did not see that one coming. So, logic says that Smackdown's first pick will be Dave Batista. Then again, this is the WWE writing unit we are talking about.

An early summer morning
stranded by shorten time
free car needed

The Hek

Monday, June 06, 2005

Today, somebody from the Smackdown roster will be drafted onto Raw. Chris Jericho has already lined up the first interview with the new Raw talent. So, who could it be? The Hek is predicting that it will either be Carlito Caribbean Cool, Orlando Jordan, Big Show or, Charlie Haas. Also, Sandman and Tommy Dreamer are said to be on the show tonight. ECW, ECW, ECW.

It's funny when the children I teach try to knock me down with giant shaped mats. I just put my hand out and the force knocks them right on their asses. Kids are funny.

The Hek

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Hey did you know it's Claire's b-day. I don't really know Claire but, it was her b-day so, The Hek wishes her a Happy B-day!!!!!

Gee, I hope Mr. Wood remembered to wear pants.

The Hek

Thursday, June 02, 2005

spring month takes shape
less clothes to wear
capers begin

*I chose to have no capitals because that's how I roll.

The Hek

Monday, May 30, 2005

Yes. Still not dead.

bank card unfolded
money into hands
lots to buy

The Hek

Monday, May 16, 2005

Ha ha. Still not dead.

Just got back from Ottawa. Noel and Leslie got married and it was truly a wonderful event. I wish them nothing but the best.

I wonder if Tim enjoyed the concert.

The Hek

Monday, May 09, 2005

Still not dead.

Okay, the day is almost here. Of course I am talking about Noel and Leslie's wedding. This event has been in the works since November, 2003 and it is finally about to go down. The Hek will be in Ottawa from Thursday to Sunday. I also hope to see Tim who will be returning from England.

I am so excited. The Hek + Groomsmen Tuxedo = Money.

The Hek

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Still not dead. Got sick though. Life has been turned upside down face. Whoops.

The Hek

Friday, April 22, 2005

No, I'm not dead. I just don't have internet. BTW, The Tony Danza Show is quality entertainment.

The Hek

Saturday, April 16, 2005

This is it.

Another school year has come to an end. It feels like yesterday I said good bye to my soon to be ex-girlfriend and made my way to Ottawa for my third year of university. So much has happened since then. I got stronger, I got wiser, and I am a better man. Where has the time gone? All I have is one more year and then life as a university student is finished.

It's ironic, as this day approached, I was looking forward to it. But now, here it is and yet I don't feel so excited. Part of me is sad. I guess sometimes you come to love something you don't like. Truth is, I love Ottawa and I love Carleton. I just really hate school.

Okay, now that I am going home to Thronhill, the posts are going to be less frequent. So be sure to check in at least once a month or so.

To all The Hek's peeps in Toronto: Get ready. Next time we speak we will be on Thronhill time.

The Hek

Thursday, April 14, 2005

So I wanted to be up at 8:00am today so I could get a good start before heading to CKCU at 10:00am. Of course, I did not set my alarm right and ended up waking up at 9:55am. Stupid alarm clock. Today my roommate Mark, my buddy Simon and myself were all suppose to go bowling. Simon was harping on me to do something on Thursday before I head back home. He told me on Tuesday that he was coming to my place at 1:00pm. He never showed. The guy calls me at 5:30pm saying that he was helping his mum move, broke something and they had to go to Ikea to fix it. Boourns. I really wanted to use my "excuse me miss, will you touch my balls for good luck" line at the bowling alley.

And what's with the WWE getting rid of Matt Hardy and Molly Holly. They're two of the best wrestlers on the roster. Matt makes no sense at all, he's injured. Not only that by he has to work with his ex-girlfriend Lita who cheated on him in real life with Edge, one of Matt's fellow co-workers. Then, there's Molly. She is the best female wrestler they have. But no, the WWE would rather have talentless Diva search contestants instead. Hopefully those two will land in NWA-TNA or maybe Japan.

The Hek

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Well today I had my last radio show for the season and my last exam for the term. Both went extremely well. Today is also my friend Jen's birthday. She's partying it up right now at some Ottawa dance club. Unfortunately, I am not going because I am not a big fan of dance clubs, just not my type of atmosphere. However, she will be getting a nice birthday greeting.

Also, yesterday I studied by the Rideau River. It is the best spot on campus during the spring and summer months. Not only did I study, but I also was entertained by these four guys in a water craft who were going against the tide and trying to beat the rapids. Took them four tries before they fully cleared all the rapids.

The Hek

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


Be sure to tune in tomorrow as it will be my last show before the summer. If there is one thing I am going to miss, it would have to be the show. Never fear for I will be back in September.

I'll have the usual stuff: Music news, sports recap, entertainment and Byetowne listings, awesome tunes, plus much more.

Remember: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Sunday, April 10, 2005

So you can't see Downfall at the Byetowne. What do you do?

You decide to head to the Rideau Centre where there is a three-screen Famous Players Theatre. The films are: Sahara, Million Dollar Baby and Miss congeniality 2. Now you have seen MDB, what do you watch?


Decent film, nothing special, does the J O B.

The Hek

Friday, April 08, 2005

Not doing anything tonight? In the Ottawa Area? Come to the Free IMPROV show!!!!

7:30pm, Fenn Lounge - Residence Commons at Carleton Univeristy.

The Hek

Wednesday, April 06, 2005


time to write the last paper of the school year. 12 pages due Friday. Fuuuuuun.

The Hek

Tuesday, April 05, 2005



7-9:30am EST, Wednesday!

CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Monday, April 04, 2005

Looks like I went 3 for 8 in my Wrestlemania predictions last night. I totally forgot about Eddie vs. Rey. Aw well. What can you do.

In other news, the Blue Jays won their opener over Tampa Bay. WOOT! Props go out to Eric Hinske for his stellar play.

The Hek

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Ahhhh. Nothing like writing a paper with a cool breeze blowing in. Alright, down to business.

Here it is ladies and gentlemen, The Hek's Wrestlemania 21 predictions. The winners will be:

- Dave Batista
- John Bradshaw Layfield
- Randy Orton (Although Stacey Keibler might do something causing Randy the match and allowing the Undertaker to go 13-0 at Wrestlemania)
- Kurt Angle (That's going to be the match of the night)
- Edge
- Christy Hemme by DQ (meaning she wins the match but not the belt)
- Big Show vs. Akebono will be a draw

Also I expect Hogan will be there. Maybe something with Hassan. Also, expect Austin to give the old Stone Cold Stunner to Roddy Piper.

The Hek